Why do I do these things?

I have an embarrassing tale to relate.

Fact 1: My home office is a bit cluttered.

Fact 2: I do web development for a local fitness trainer, and have acquired a fair amount of content related to his site.

I recently went about renewing my passport. You never know when you’re going to need to leave the country suddenly, and it’s usually one of those things that you don’t think of doing until you actually need it. So I grabbed an envelope and put in all the stuff – the old passport, the paperwork, two passport-compliant head shots and a check for $55.00.

The new passport came in the mail a few weeks later. I opened the envelope and pulled out the old passport (invalidated), the new passport, some literature, and…a photograph. I stared at the 4×6, very confused by its presence in the packet, because it dawned on me that I recognized it. It was a source image from the fitness trainer.

I tried to think over the roar in my ears as my body tried to set some sort of new record for the granddaddy of all blushes. How the hell did this happen? What was going through the mind of the employee who processed my application? MrPikes, why did you send a photograph of oiled, muscular, artificially bronzed men wearing very little to the United States Government?

What the hell kind of list have I just put myself on?

Now that a little time has passed, and my face has returned to its regular color, I’ve concluded that I must have reused an envelope when I mailed the passport renewal, and that the photograph was already in there. I still envision some future interaction with U.S. Customs after I return from an overseas trip.

~~~

Customs: Passport, please.

Me: Right here, sir. (Customs officer types information into his terminal)

Customs: Sir (turning terminal around), what were you thinking when you mailed this photograph to the United States Government?

Me: I honestly have no idea.

Customs: Got any more?

~~~

It was nice of them to send it back, though.