MrPikes Blog » torture http://www.mrpikes.com/blog Fear It. Tue, 24 Jan 2012 00:02:52 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0 Two Lines to Amuse Yourself When Stopped by the Local Constabulary http://www.mrpikes.com/blog/two-lines-to-amuse-yourself-when-stopped-by-the-local-constabulary http://www.mrpikes.com/blog/two-lines-to-amuse-yourself-when-stopped-by-the-local-constabulary#comments Fri, 29 Jul 2011 13:48:47 +0000 mrpikes http://www.mrpikes.com/blog/?p=1024 I spend a fair bit of time commuting (these days ~ 500 miles a week). During intervals of reflection, I sometimes think about what I will say to the fellow in uniform who will, eventually, pull me over.

Peace Officer: Do you know why I pulled you over?

Me: Oh good! You must have found my television.

(With thanks to the chaps of Top Gear)


Gendarme: Do you know how fast you were going?

Me: I open the bidding at 73!



If you deliver either of these lines with a big, friendly smile on your face, you might even avoid getting sodomized repeatedly with a plunger handle.

]]> http://www.mrpikes.com/blog/two-lines-to-amuse-yourself-when-stopped-by-the-local-constabulary/feed 0 Fine, It’s Not Torture. So Let’s Compete. http://www.mrpikes.com/blog/fine-its-not-torture-so-lets-compete http://www.mrpikes.com/blog/fine-its-not-torture-so-lets-compete#comments Wed, 26 Mar 2008 00:10:34 +0000 mrpikes http://www.mrpikes.com/blog/?p=103 United States 2008 Olympic Waterboarding Team

The United States 2008 Olympic Waterboarding Team

We won’t even need to haul our own equipment. I’m sure China has spares.

Also.

Previously.

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