amorize, v. [am·or·ize]

To pay down love gradually in a series of installments applied to interest and principal.

I recently came across “amorize” while doing quality assurance on a collection of definitions. It was just too good not to put here. By the by, the sound clip is from Steve Martin’s The Man with Two Brains. If you haven’t seen it, your life is not yet complete.

5/17/2009: Updated to add

I'm just not going to have as much time for this sort of thing once I rejoin the gainfully employed...

I know that springtime has well and truly come to Richmond when the pollen count is pegged and my white car is rendered a yellowish green. I was just cutting the grass (right after mowing the lawn) when a thought occurred to me:

Nature is ejaculating on me.

Every time you step outside you’re walking in on one ginormous booty call (it would be helpful if Nature had a bow-chicka-bow-wow soundtrack, or at least hung a tie on the door), and every time you sneeze it’s the inverse of bukkake. If you don’t know what that is then follow the link at your own peril (and definitely not from work), but if you want a hint, see below:

I drove by this sign yesterday and, thinking it hilarious, considered going back to take a picture. However, within two minutes of searching for it online, I discovered that someone already had. Oh, Internet, is there nothing you can’t do?

Please be kind.

This and many other fine t-shirts are available from T-Shirt Hell.

Don’t get it? Fuck you.

I love Hallowe’en.

I frequently use the gender-neutral pronoun “hu” on this blog, and in regular speech and correspondence. The word’s creator is an old friend of mine and (in all its simplicity) I set up hupronoun.org for him. Periodically I scan the site’s web logs to look at the volume of traffic, and see what search strings people use to find the site. One unfortunate (but hilarious) discovery I made is that people find the site because they search on “pron” instead of “porn”. In some cases it might actually be an innocent typo, but “pron” (“pr0n”, actually) is Leetspeak for “pornography”, and was conceived to circumvent content filters (previously).

FTW, here are some of my recent favorite search strings from hupronoun.org:

• female pron
• gymnastics pron
• beautiful pron
• to young for pron
• flexible pron
• folk pron
• older women pron
• pron jobs for male

I scan my own web logs, too, because I find it fascinating to learn how people found me, and to speculate on what they actually were looking for. It’s also interesting to view in aggregate the span of subject matter I’ve covered over the years. Some of my favorite search strings from the last year:

• perfect shower temperature
• sociopath carnegie win friends and influence people
• how to handle post-consumption tampons
• cloaca (a surprising number of hits)
• ibonkedmymom
• how much does a 150-pound person weigh under the metric system
• midget porn

Happy memories all.

This was waiting for me when I got to the salt mines this morning:

I hate being predictable…