He has a wife, you know…

My personal favorite has always been “Phil McRevis”.

For those requiring an explanation.

Do you ever get the feeling that you’re being watched?

A tragic story, but I just can’t stop laughing.

And last, but not least, thank you Rob Cardwell for providing us with this excellent demonstration of grace under pressure.

My mission is now to devise and market a product so preposterous that the inevitable derision and parody turn it into a meme. Then I’ll have two markets:

1. People who buy my product sincerely. In addition to making money from these deserving chumps, I’ll keep their contact information in my list of Humans To Be Bred for Food When Society Collapses.
2. People who buy my product to be cool and ironic. They’ll go into my list of Humans To Be Eaten Immediately When Society Collapses.

I can’t stop laughing. And I suspect Mr. Vonnegut would have been flattered.

Douche Nine.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

From Jay Louis’s Hot Chicks with Douchebags:

His popped-collar, spikey-haired presence was so far beyond regular douche, so far beyond überdouche, he could spontaneously create a new element on the periodic tables – Douche Nine.

Just a friendly reminder to my gentle readers, keep your collars down, and try not to become a meme.