After going through the Sun-Sentinel’s Scared of Santa photo gallery and reading Fark’s thread, I was in tears. The Christmas tradition of “Let’s go see Santa” confuses me at best. There’s the typical conversation with the child (assuming that the little one has progressed beyond distinguishing basic verbal commands) about how this isn’t the real Santa, but instead his helper, or delegate, or doppelgänger, or whatever. Then there’s the traditional standing in line, followed by the time-honored shelling out of dough, finally culminating in the forever-captured, cherished moment of childlike (that’s what children do) wonderment and joy.

Or it can go the other way.

For the next twelve days, MrPikes is proud to present some of his favorite images of it going the other way:

Just what is going on with this fellow’s pants? Om nom nom nom?

I take an interest in security, from the perspective of “What is the threat, how effective is a given security measure at dealing with that threat, and is the trade off of convenience, liberty or whatever worth it to those who have to interact with the security measure day to day?”

From the previous question posed, what requirement is not met?

When confronted with a particularly egregious, invasive or pointless security measure, I have taken to asking the “person in charge” (be that a receptionist, security staff member, police officer, etc.) with wide-eyed, straight-faced concern, “Is this because of the Al Qaeda?” Sometimes they catch on immediately to the fact that they have a smartass on their hands *, other times they respond with genuine reassurance. Regardless, the reactions are always fun. It’s not unlike a Buddhist koan, in that it may arrest the person from hus preconceptions regarding the basis or efficacy of the security measure at hand. Or not.

I’m sick and tired of hearing “In these troubled times in which we live…” or “In this post-9/11 world…” Those overworked talking points only serve to delay us from returning to some sort of baseline of common sense. It is impossible simultaneously to live in a free society and be 100% secure. I do not mean to say that we should do nothing, but we need to swing the pendulum away from reactionary, intrusive, high-visibility/low-effectiveness, fear mongering security measures that are stomping all over what makes this country great. I sincerely believe that Americans simply have not reached the tipping point where fear turns to anger, beyond which they will fight these intrusions – with their votes and their dollars.

Sooner would be better. Maybe we would have been better off if Richard Reid had been the “underwear bomber“.

* A couple of years ago I was in line at a security checkpoint in O’Hare when a TSA employee saw the “Selectee” code on my boarding pass and informed me, “Sir, you have been selected for special screening.” I let a big smile grow across my face and with enthusiasm said, “Really? I never win anything!” I watched his mind work for a few seconds, “Idiot or smartass? Idiot or smartass? Yep. Smartass.”