Previously.

I love you, Fail Blog. Previously.

So that’s where they’re all hanging out…

Coming soon! “Rattlesnake and Hepatitis Nail Salon”, or, possibly, “Rattlesnake and Hantavirus Petting Zoo”.

Bonus Joke: Two snakes are sunning themselves on a rock when one turns to the other and asks, “I forget, are we poisonous?” The second snake replies, “Out of curiosity, why do you ask?” The first snake answers, “Because I just bit my tongue.”

Previously.

The American Family Association is a fundamentalist Christian activist organization that is a convenient one-stop-shop for everything that I hate about religion. Their One News Now web site (yellow to the point of being jaundiced) has, or had, a filter that automagically replaced instances of the word “gay” with “homosexual” in stories reprinted from sources like the Associated Press.

This recently led to a clbuttic bit of self-pwnage with respect to an AP article about Tyson Gay winning the 100 meter semifinal in the Olympic trials:

Homosexual eases into 100 final at Olympic trials

EUGENE, Ore. (AP) — Tyson Homosexual easily won his semifinal for the 100 meters at the U.S. Olympic track and field trials and seemed to save something for the final later Sunday.

One News Now since removed the filter, but not before People for the American Way got the screenshot.

By way of justification for the filter, Fred Jackson, the news director of One News Now, explained that:

[The word 'gay'] has been co-opted by a particular group of people.

Not that the AFA hates fags or anything, as their FAQ makes quite clear:

The same Holy Bible that calls us to reject sin, calls us to love our neighbor. It is that love that motivates us to expose the misrepresentation of the radical homosexual agenda and stop its spread though our culture. AFA has sponsored several events reaching out to homosexuals and letting them know there is love and healing at the Cross of Christ.

So that’s good. It’s good to love. If the song That’s Amore has anything to teach us, it’s that:

Hearts will play tippy-tippy-tay, tippy-tippy-tay
Like a homosexual tarantella.

Previously.

Either the letter store was all out of apostrophes, or this dry cleaner is attempting the seldom-used past present imperfect subjunctive tense.

Previously.