Sweet Twelve-Inch Talking Poseable Jesus!

A friend of mine was recently burning away a bit of her soul shopping at Wal-Mart when she came across this:

Poseable Jesus

The product description over at Amazon comes on a little strong, as if responding to the imagined question, “Jesus? Who the hell is Jesus?”

Jesus was the most important person in history. Ever. He was born in a manger, raised as a carpenter, and crucified on a cross. He healed the sick. He raised the dead…

And He had realistic eyes. And many, many points of articulation.

It’s hard to read the text, but just below “I Talk Try Me!” the packaging advises, “I come to life with just the push of a button.” Wow, that would make Catholic Mass a whole lot shorter…

One 2 Believe also sells a talking Mary, Moses, David and Esther (Esther?). If these sell well, perhaps they will expand the product line to biblical figures that I’d like to buy, and, for the love of poseable Jesus, make with some accessories. Right off the top of my head – Judas (tree), Lazarus (stone), Lot’s Wife (before and after), Jezebel (pack of dogs), Job (various sores), and John the Baptist (removable head) – and I haven’t even had my first cup of coffee.

One customer review let me know that I am not alone in my amusement:

This does get 5 stars for durability though. I’ve accidentally scratched or poked some holes in my Jesus, and within a couple of days, the plastic seals right up again. I don’t know what they used to make this, but it’s great!