Roy Orbison Wrapped in Clingfilm

My good friend Gokmop recently turned me on to this, commenting:

This has all the hallmarks of a good one, because it makes me uncomfortable and it’s not immediately clear whether it’s a joke or not. 🙂

“This” is a collection of short stories, haikus, a song, and a novel dedicated to the subject of wrapping Roy Orbison in clingfilm (AKA plastic wrap). The original author is Ulrich Haarbürste, whose business manager is Michael Kelly (their relationship is similar to Lemony Snicket and Daniel Handler).

From the first short story:

Roy Orbison walks inside my house and sits down on my couch. We talk urbanely of various issues of the day. Presently I say, ‘Perhaps you would like to see my cling-film?’

‘By all means.’ I cannot see his eyes through his trademark dark glasses and I have no idea if he is merely being polite or if he genuinely has an interest in cling-film.

I bring it from the kitchen, all the rolls of it. ‘I have a surprising amount of clingfilm,’ I say with a nervous laugh. Roy merely nods.

And from an interview in a Canadian newspaper:

Does [your passion for writing about wrapping Roy Orbison in clingfilm] include other celebrities?

No, absolutely not! It must be Roy Orbison. For me, maybe it’s OK for other people, I do not judge but I find it odd. Some person sent me a story about Tom Petty in clingfilm and I deleted it. I do not get that, I try to be broad-minded but who would possibly want to wrap Tom Petty in clingfilm? There are strange people in the world.

It is yet another (albeit tongue-in-cheek) example of XKCD’s Rule 34 of the Internet, “If you can imagine it, there is porn of it.”