Oh Hell!

While doing a recent turn in stir owing to an unfortunate misunderstanding, I discovered a swell card game called “Oh Hell!” Played with 3 to 7 people, each player declares a bid per hand, immediately after the cards are dealt. A hand of 7 cards equates to 7 rounds, because only one card per player is put into play per round. The bid reflects the number of rounds each player thinks hu can win (referred to as “tricks”), with 2 through Ace values applying. For example, let’s say I am dealt 7 cards, 3 of which are Aces. I might declare in advance a bid of three tricks, because I am confident that each of those Aces will win a given round. There’s more to it, but that’s the essence. Details include things like the number of cards dealt per hand (ascending then descending) throughout play, and the presence of a trump suit per hand.

What really interests me is that scoring is based entirely on how accurately one bids (in Project Management parlance, estimates versus actuals). In other words, it doesn’t matter how many rounds I win in a given hand; I only win points for that hand if I estimated my bid accurately. For example, let’s say that I declared a bid of 3 tricks for the hand. If I win exactly 3 tricks, I get 3 points plus a 10-point bonus for estimating accurately. If instead I only won 2 tricks, I lose 10 points plus the difference between my estimate (3) and the number I actually won (2), for a total of -11. Therefore, as a hand evolves, one’s strategy sometimes involves playing to lose.

I had great fun when I played.

There are many variations to the rules and scoring of Oh Hell!, so I decided to create MrPikes’ House Rules, fundamentally based on Carter Hoerr’s rules (rulekeeper for the OH HELL! Club of America) with a couple of interesting differences, Rule 2 inspired by PJ O’Rourke’s Modern Manners:

  1. When all players are ready to BID, they put a fist on the table. When everyone’s fist is out, the group says “One, Two, Three” while bouncing their fists on the table. On “Three”, everyone must stick out some number of fingers (possibly zero) to indicate how many tricks they will try to take. Of course, with this method, there’s no restriction against the total number of bid tricks being equal to the number of cards dealt. Since players cannot adjust their bids based on the other players’ bids, the total tricks bid can be wildly different from the tricks available – for example it is not uncommon for three or four players to bid “one” when only one card was dealt.
  2. The PANTS rule: Any player who bids 5 tricks or higher and does not realize that bid precisely has to take off hus pants. For the especially shy or aesthetically repugnant, writing “Dumbass” in grease pencil or lipstick on the forehead is an acceptable substitute. The spirit of the rule is to add an element of risk (and corresponding thrill) to the game, similar to Russian Roulette but without the cleanup headaches. In addition, you can learn a lot about a person who willingly takes the gamble. The pants rule applies once per player.

6 thoughts on “Oh Hell!

  1. Did we ever fully determine that you were wrong about that silly little rule you *randomly* put into effect? You know… that rule…

    MrPikes reply on August 6th, 2009 5:21 pm:

    Um, the *extremely naughty* rule that I don’t regret one bit except for not taking pictures? That one? Otherwise, you’re referring to the value of subsequent cards in relationship to the leading suit. Yes, I was wrong, and I’m Pikes enough to admit it, damn it. Given three players, if the leading player put down the Three of Spades, then the second player put down the Ace of Diamonds and the third player put down the Four of Spades, the third player would win. If there were a fourth player and Clubs were trump, and the fourth player put down the Two of Clubs, hu would win, because trump, well, trumps. So the rule is, the highest card in the leading suit or the highest trump card wins.

  2. Perhaps there could be an Oh Hell! coup rule, where if a player states a rule, and all other players disagree, they overthrow the evil Oh Hell! dictator and establish a newer, more idealistic card-playing regime. And I, I could be the President of the United States of Love! Oh wait, you said I couldn’t be president. Cuz I’m a girl. Oh hell.

    MrPikes reply on August 7th, 2009 5:12 am:

    I am a benevolent despot, loved rather than feared. And I didn’t say you couldn’t be President on account of you’re a girl, I said you couldn’t be President because of your:

    Weak domestic policy
    Birth in Patagonia
    Dark past

  3. Weak domestic policy? Why I oughta…

    And as for Patagonia, you know what? You people all look the same to us. Foreign pig bacon people… grumblegrumblegrumble

    MrPikes reply on August 7th, 2009 8:38 am:

    Om nom nom nom.

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