She assured me that these experts had vowed to “…keep [her] in the loophole.”

Kind of a victim stance don’t you think?

During a school meeting to discuss how to help a student improve his behavior in the classroom, the principal confronted the student with his no-nonsense, ‘reality therapy’ approach, stating to the student, “You know me well enough to know that I’m always up front with you. I’m not puttin’ on no ‘facana.’

I surmised he was combining the words ‘facade’ and ‘persona.’ But I didn’t realize that among the many powers vested in a private school principal, was the authority to invent words, particularly those that no one understands. Even more impressive was the double negative, which I think serves as the cherry on top. Forget kids finding Kuwait on the globe, let’s try to find the English language among the educators.

The second one was from a parent who was angry that I could not provide transportation for her son to attend an out of town meeting, stating adamantly that I was putting her in a “Catch 28″ situation. I suppose to qualify as a mixed metaphor, “28″ would need to refer to something, but for the life of me, I don’t know what it’d be, perhaps 28 bottles of beer on the wall.

Maybe “Catch 28″ is just a super-duper version of “Catch 22,” like jumbo family-sized “Catch 22.” Better than being caught on the wrong side of a “Catch 38 Magnum.”

* You should really take that project on, it’s right up your ballpark.
* You know what they say, when it snows, it blizzards.

One of my other favorite confused metaphors comes from the Beastie Boys, many years back. (I think it was on License to Ill)

“Droppin’ science like Galileo dropped the orange”