Spotted on a co-worker’s desk.

If you, gentle reader, regard this image and say, “So? It’s a pen held upright by a magnetic base,” then, with my apologies, this post is not for you.

For those unaware, I love Hallowe’en. It appeals to my love of play and reinvention, and there’s candy. I carve a pumpkin every year, and sometimes I’m lucky enough to have a conspirator. So, without further ado, I present Boris Karloff’s Frankenstein’s Monster and Boris Karloff’s Frankenstein’s Monster’s Monkey.

Disclaimer: Not my idea, not my cat.

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While the following error (read: hilarious fuckup) could have just as easily happened on printed ballots, given my antipathy for electronic voting machines, I am all too happy to take yet another, albeit gratuitous, swipe at them.
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Rich Whitney, the Illinois Green party gubernatorial candidate, was dismayed to learn that his name was misspelled as “Rich Whitey” on electronic ballots in 23 of Chicago’s 50 wards. Half of the machines with the misspelling are in predominately black wards and there is not time to correct the error before election day.

Though polling indicates that Whitney would garner a mere two percent of the votes, he is (somewhat) understandably unhappy about the misspelling. If it were me, I would be trying like hell to incorporate this as a campaign feature. I would post flyers all over the affected wards with slogans like “A rich whitey is moving into the Governor’s mansion anyway. Vote Rich Whitey!”, or “Vote Whitey! He’s Green!”

Never undervalue how grateful people are to laugh.

I’m getting her one for Christmas.

Q: What did Helen Keller do when she fell down the well?

A: She screamed her hands off.

Can’t. Stop. Laughing.

This gag is quintessentially Futurama. Welcome back, guys. You were missed.

MrPikes presents:

Goat Cheese-Stuffed Chicken Breasts

4 boneless chicken breast halves, skinned
1/2 c. fresh goat cheese, about 4 oz.
2 green onions, thinly sliced
3 basil leaves, shredded or 1 tsp. dried, crumbled
1 egg, beaten to blend
1/2 c. dry bread crumbs (or corn flakes)
2 tbsp. unsalted butter, melted

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Pound chicken between sheets of waxed paper to 1/4″ thickness. Pat chicken dry.

Combine cheese, green onions and basil in small bowl. Season with salt and pepper. Spread chicken mixture lengthwise over half of each chicken piece. Tuck short ends in. Roll chicken up, starting at one long side, into tight cylinders. Tie ends with string or secure with toothpicks. Refrigerate until firm. Remove string (or toothpicks), dip chicken in egg, allowing excess to drip into bowl. Roll in bread crumbs (or corn flakes).

Place chicken in an 8″ square baking dish. Pour 2 tablespoons melted butter over. Bake until cooked through, about 20 minutes. Serves 4.

Tongue. Boner.