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Archive for December, 2007

Twelve Days of Terror – Day 12

Wednesday, December 19th, 2007

I don’t know, Doc. It’s like any little thing brings that horrible day rushing back.


Tuesday, December 18th, 2007

I’ve had the honor of serving as best man three times, and I’ve started my toast the same way each time:

The problem with being the best man is that you never get to prove it.

That’s the problem with showing restraint as well. You seldom get credit because no one knows you’ve done it. It’s worse than thinking of the perfect line three minutes after its intended recipient has left. The line is right there, but you choose not to use it.

I was at a friend’s desk this afternoon when a woman we work with stopped by. This woman is intelligent, savvy and widely acknowledged throughout the office as quite a dish. The conversation turned to where should she take her team for a holiday lunch. My pal recommended a particular restaurant because the waitresses are always gorgeous, before conceding that this might not, in fact, be an important feature for her. She said, “Yeah, not my cup of tea.”

Even though I died a little inside, I refrained from saying “Damn it!” then handing my buddy five bucks.

And this is yet one more reason why I think it’s just completely unfair that HR has me on speed dial.

Twelve Days of Terror – Day 11

Tuesday, December 18th, 2007


And they were never seen again…

Twelve Days of Terror – Day 10

Monday, December 17th, 2007


♫ He sees you when you’re sleeping ♫

Twelve Days of Terror – Day 9

Sunday, December 16th, 2007


Great Moments in History: The Invention of the Ball Gag

Twelve Days of Terror – Day 8

Saturday, December 15th, 2007


I’m going to give Santa the benefit of the doubt and assume he had a cold.

Twelve Days of Terror – Day 7

Friday, December 14th, 2007


Wow. I…wow.

Twelve Days of Terror – Day 6

Thursday, December 13th, 2007


The child on the left appears to be playing Tyrannosaurus rex. The child on the right appears to be playing its victim.

Twelve Days of Terror – Day 5

Wednesday, December 12th, 2007


I executed this exact same move when I was three years old and Mom took me to my first haunted house.

Twelve Days of Terror – Day 4

Tuesday, December 11th, 2007


Edward Gorey called. He wants his kid back.

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