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Passing Gas

June 14th, 2009


Do Re Mi

June 14th, 2009

More than 200 dancers were performing their version of “Do Re Mi”, in the Central Station of Antwerp. with just 2 rehearsals they created this amazing stunt! Those 4 fantastic minutes started the 23 of march 2009, 08:00 AM. It is a promotion stunt for a Belgian television program, where they are looking for someone to play the leading role, in the musical of “The Sound of Music”.

…and in so doing, made the world a little bit more magical.

And if that isn’t enough to get you all, “Excuse me, I have something in my eye,” you leave me no choice than to bring out larger ordnance:

The full backstory on this gem can be found here.


Amorize

May 16th, 2009

amorize, v. [am·or·ize]

To pay down love gradually in a series of payments applied to interest and principal.


I recently came across “amorize” while doing quality assurance on a collection of definitions. It was just too good not to put here. By the by, the sound clip is from Steve Martin’s The Man with Two Brains. If you haven’t seen it, your life is not yet complete.

5/17/2009: Updated to add


Manny’s Nails

May 7th, 2009


All Her Favorite Fruit

May 6th, 2009

I'm just not going to have as much time for this sort of thing once I rejoin the gainfully employed...


To The Minivan!

April 30th, 2009

Dateless Wonder, Captain Asperger’s, The Dyslexic Dou, Mound, Harelip! Let us away!


@#$%ing Springtime

April 27th, 2009

I know that springtime has well and truly come to Richmond when the pollen count is pegged and my white car is rendered a yellowish green. I was just cutting the grass (right after mowing the lawn) when a thought occurred to me:

Nature is ejaculating on me.

Every time you step outside you’re walking in on one ginormous booty call (it would be helpful if Nature had a bow-chicka-bow-wow soundtrack, or at least hung a tie on the door), and every time you sneeze it’s the inverse of bukkake. If you don’t know what that is then follow the link at your own peril (and definitely not from work), but if you want a hint, see below:

Christmas Angel Bukkake


The Pottery That Offends

April 13th, 2009

Chia Obama

After a one-week test run of a Chia Obama in its Tampa and Chicago markets, Walgreens has pulled the product from its shelves. According to a company statement issued by Walgreens spokesman Robert Elfinger:

We decided to pull the product because it didn’t fit with our corporate image. We also didn’t want to be subject to any misinterpretation over the product. People could interpret it through a political viewpoint or other viewpoints and we want to avoid that situation.

I can understand Walgreens position (their image isn’t exactly hip, unless it has something to do with actual hips) and, happily, there are still online venues selling the product (Amazon, Drugstore.com), so it’s not as if this will be the product that never was. The president of Joseph Enterprises and creator of the Chia Obama, Joe Pedott, is still sick over Walgreens’ decision, stating that the clay bust is:

…hope, courage and pro-American.

According to Pedott, he even showed the bust to the Reverend Jesse Jackson during a chance encounter in a Chicago eatery, and the Reverend stated that it was a fine product.

So there’s that.

As for me, I’ve never owned a Chia Pet before but, in less than a week, I’ll never be able to say that again.


I, For One, Welcome Our New Five-Inch Alien Jesus Overlords

April 9th, 2009

In honor of Easter Week, one of my loyal readers sent this to me and, wow. I…wow.

Jesus Action Figure

Last year I complained about religious action figures not coming with enough cool accessories and, while I am grateful to be heard, I never said anything about creepy, glow-in-the-dark hands.

Jesus Action Figure Detail

With hands like that, I’ll bet Jesus could heal the lame by the simple expedient of scaring them shitless.

Jesus: Rise, take up thy bed, and walk.

Cripple: Aaaah! Okay, I’m up! I’m up! Get the fuck away!

The loaves, fishes and amphora (dude, just look it up) are pretty cool, but I would have maybe preferred the Spear of Destiny and a big honking boulder, or perhaps an accompanying action leper with removable sores.

Anyone listening?


Rattlesnake and Poison Oak Playground

March 23rd, 2009

So that’s where they’re all hanging out…

Rattlesnake and Poison Oak Playground Sign

Coming soon! “Rattlesnake and Hepatitis Nail Salon”, or, possibly, “Rattlesnake and Hantavirus Petting Zoo”.

Bonus Joke: Two snakes are sunning themselves on a rock when one turns to the other and asks, “I forget, are we poisonous?” The second snake replies, “Out of curiosity, why do you ask?” The first snake answers, “Because I just bit my tongue.”

Previously.



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